Semi- to Fully-Bummed...

Okay, when I left the store Thursday night, I had done so with the intention of coming back and playing in KEJR's newly-started Dungeon Crawl Classics game. While he had a few people there, there were several others whose participation he was unsure of, thus he thought he had openings. I had to leave to run a minor but important errand, and then I would be free to return. When I got back, not only did his wayward players show up, but a couple of other unexpected folks did as well. Hence, there was no more room left in the game.

Now, I will say that I sort of invited myself into the game, but there was no voiced disagreement from anyone else at the table, including KEJR, the GM. I'm kind of going nuts with no regular game currently, and I *REALLY* enjoy playing with the group of folks he had at the table. I, also, am not angry at how things went down. Honestly, I have no right to be given how the situation went down. I was, however, kind of bummed. Ehhh... what can you do?

HOWEVER... what little, trivial depressive fit I went through Thursday night is such a first-world problem compared to what happened in Connecticut this morning...

While this was nothing on the magnitude of shock and bewilderment that was September 11th, it was still pretty soul-wrenching. The Columbine and West Virginia shootings didn't really affect me much. Horrible though they were, the victims were at least of high-school age, and I could sort of rationalize that away to a numb part of my mind.

On Friday, the bulk of the victims were between the ages of five and ten years. They were children in the truest sense of the word. Gone, in the blink of an eye and the squeezing of a trigger. Lights extinguished before they had a chance to truly shine.

This incident gouged out a small piece of the world's soul, but it will get better. The soul of humanity will heal because life does not stop. Life demands that we collectively keep moving forward and by doing so, the world will place distance between its present self, and the wound that occurred December 14th, 2012.

Humanity will press on because it must... but that does not mean we should forget...

-- GopherDave

Who Knows?

Once again, not much to say. The Deadlands campaign is on hold for the holidays. Between sickness and family obligations, meeting regularly during the month was looking nigh-impossible. We will hopefully pick it back up after the first of the year.

As for other projects, things get done slower than more things get added. I'm almost to the point of ignoring anything else put in front of me that does not have "FLASHING RED" priority assigned to it. The most important thing I have to do is holiday shopping, which should get finished tonight or tomorrow.

This weekend, whether I mentally feel like it or not, I will get back to working on the DICEBAG stuff. Basically, I've been hung up on expanding the weapons section to include firearms and "ray-guns", which needs to be done to cover three of the four events I am running. I also need to plug in a psionics system, which will be necessary for at least one (possibly two) of the events that is happening.

It adds up to I need to be truly productive again, and stop with the sitting on the couch and watching NCIS and Law & Order: SVU reruns...

-- GopherDave

Third Plate, Please...

As the holidays draw ever closer, a number of life-, gaming-, and business-related issues are all vying for time and attention. Trouble is, the amount of time and attention I am able to give to things has not increased while the number of items I need to devote time and attention to have pretty much tripled.

I have a fantastic wife who I know is willing to help me with things. Problem is, many of the issues (mostly the gaming ones) are things that require my personal attention.

On top of all of this is the just general "bleh" feeling I have going on currently that is making doing any work at all more of a chore than it is worth to my psyche. That, however, feeds an ever-spiraling cycle of "the less work I do, the more work that builds up, which makes me want to do any of it even less".

I need a third plate, or at least a second me...

-- GopherDave

Gnawing At The Chains...

I know it's been five days or so since I last posted, but I really don't have much to say. The malaise has lingered on, and it is starting to affect other parts of my life to some degree.

As I stated before, this does not feel like a normal downswing, nor does it really feel like full-blown depression. It feels more... apathetically insidious. Like something is creeping into my psyche, and while it is not trying to draw attention to itself, it doesn't truly care if I notice it or not. It's setting up shop in my head and pretty much daring me to try and kick it out.

When I put it that way, it sounds like a challenge... Hmmmm...

-- GopherDave