...That is the question I have been asking myself lately.
I first started this blog a couple of years back as sort of a "self-accountability" journal for a wardrobe upgrade. For over a year and a half, I pretty much stayed true to the idea. Over the past six months, with the move of the store and everything else, I have slid back into the t-shirt/jeans/shorts/sweats that I wore in the beginning. I really don't know what has been happening to cause this, though I have some ideas.
This past summer was hot... very hot. Hot enough that wearing the whole shirt/tie/sweater vest combo would pretty much cause me to melt in the seven to ten minutes it takes me to get to the store.
The move to a bigger store has me doing more behind-the-scenes work and less actual in-front-of-customer counter work. In fact, my work load has grown and shifted enough that I rarely have time to put on the entire outfit anymore. I barely have time to get out of bed and get to the store to start my day. The larger store also has me feeling a bit like a fish out of water. We've grown the new store to its current size, and we're proud of it, but sometimes I feel very ill-equipped to handle it. I'm not one to give up control easily, but I almost have to if I am to focus more on the business, and less on the storefront. None of this sits well with me.
I am feeling like I have taken on more than I can handle. Yes, we have more help than usual, but with more people in the mix comes more drama. Plus, it's bad enough that there is (and always will be) internal drama, but with a new competitor opening recently, it has created more EXTERNAL drama. I won't lie. I'm not a big fan of real-life drama. Make-believe drama is just fine. Hell, I *LOVE* make-believe drama. I'm a die-hard role-player...
F**K, that's it... I have stumbled over why I have been absolutely losing it for the last few months. I haven't been getting much role-playing in from the player's side of the screen. Shady's Terracide game has been sporadic over the last six months as work and health issues have beset him a bit, plus he's been busy converting the whole setting over to another game system for publishing again. The next time we are scheduled to play will be on the 28th of this month. The last time we played was on the 3rd of August. That will be *EIGHT* weeks between sessions, and given how sporadic things had been prior to that, it is no wonder I am losing my God-Damned mind. Have I mentioned that it is the only game I play in currently? I run two others, but Terracide is the only game I participate in as a player...
GAHHHHH... Writing as catharsis...
-- GopherDave
