Another day... another stressful weekend spilling over into the weekday.
On the plus side, I have my laptop back. On the negative side, my having it caused a rift between my son and myself. Don't ask... you hurt yourself trying to wrap your head around the non-existent logic of it all. Suffice it to say that I exploded over something that was trivial, but that despite being trivial, the incident was the tipping point for a lot of long-held frustration on my part.
As said, my son did not deserve to be the dumping point of my rage. I did not strike him, nor did I even wish to, but there was a lot of verbal rage coming out of me that I should not have spewed at him, but I did... and I've done this before... to other people... mostly, my wife, who also doesn't always deserve to be the target of my rage...
I'll be the first to admit... I'm not a good person at heart. I'm bitter, cynical, paranoid, angry, and emotionally stifled enough to be the eternally rampaging child. Conversely, I do have my good points... I'm passionately loyal to the people I feel deserve it, and will defend them against the world intensely... I'm funny... I'm fairly gregarious... I can be a LOT of fun to be around... I'm brutally honest in that I will not say something behind your back that I won't say to your face...
I'm not sure the good points outweigh the bad ones... I've been trying to minimize the bad parts for some time now...
It doesn't always work...
peace..?
-- GopherDave
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