Monday, June 04, 2012
Beating a Muse Into Submission...
It's late once again... I almost forgot to blog. As it goes, while tonight at the store was busier than expected, Monday looks to be even more hectic as I have four orders to place and two checks to drop off on what is supposed to be my day off. Ehhnn... What can you do? It's part and parcel of running your own business.
On a sour note, while I wanted to get some gaming groundwork done, the muse... she did notta come... I stared at a blank screen for the better part of two hours and got nothing. I hate when this happens, but I should of expected it. As I've gotten older, the ideas have turned more slippery and elusive in coming. There is one surefire way to unlock said muse, but I am loathe to rely on it, and have come to hate that it is becoming my only avenue to creativity. What is this mystical way of foo-fraw you might ask? It's simple.
Get me drunk and the ideas pour out of me... Big, bold, and most importantly, *COHERENT* ideas come splashing on the written page in easily legible handwriting. Yes, my handwriting gets better the drunker I get. I cannot explain it. I only know it to be true. I have several witnesses who can back me up on this somewhat cockamamie claim.
If it's so easy, why don't I just get blitzed and write what I feel needs to be written? Again, from my vantage point, simple...
I have an extreme fear of being an alcoholic.
My father is an alcoholic. His father was an alcoholic. I am genetically and environmentally pre-disposed to becoming an alcoholic. Back during my first stint in college, when I wasn't gaming or actually studying, I was getting completely tanked off my a**. The amount of alcohol I was consuming would scare most Marines. One of my best friends at that time was from a very-well-to-do Catholic family from the northern suburbs of Chicago. This person also came from an alcoholic background, and I can honestly say, they were a professional. This individual could drink ENTIRE FRATERNITIES under the table and still be able to make their way home without help. I hung out with this person a fair amount and tried to keep up with their alcohol consumption when I did. I have more than a few blackout stories in my past.
One of them involves a night planning for a Champions game happening two days later . I was a little wound up from something that had happened earlier that day, so I figured a drink to relax would help me out a bit. One drink eventually became about a bottle and a half of Absolut over the course of the night. When I came to the next day, there were game notes strewn about me throughout the room. Once collected, these notes made up one of the best story arcs I had ever come up with. Everything had been laid out in terms of plot, villain motivation, and world events to clue the heroes in that something was wrong and in what direction they might want to look. Major NPCs had their personalities sketched out, and many of them (over a dozen) had been fully constructed... ...in HERO SYSTEM... BY HAND. It was an amazing bit of output from me, and one that I haven't been able to duplicate since then. I've come close at times, but I was drunk at those times as well.
That was great when I young, stupid, and single. Now, I'm married with two high school age children. My wife and I run a successful small business. I am older, wiser, more responsible, and I have ZERO desire to be a drunken fool in front of my kids. They deserve better than that. My wife deserves better than that.
So where does that leave me?
I'm still working on that... beating my head against the proverbial wall...