Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Too Manic...

You ever get so wound up to work on something, you end up not being able to work on it? That happens to me more than I'd like, and it did so last night.

See, here's a confession of sorts. I, GopherDave, suffer from mild, rapid-cycling bi-polar disorder. It is an unmedicated condition for I also have heart issues, and anything they can give me that will actually help with my particular bi-polar condition will also screw with my heart in a dangerous manner. Given the choice of moody, but breathing and level-headed, but dead, I've chosen to live with it.

It's not easy sometimes, especially not for Loquacious, Skribl, and Pumpkin. They have seen me at my best, but they have also seen me at my lowest, the lows aren't pretty sometimes. Me, I've kind of learned to live with it.

I am currently in the midst of a manic cycle. It's mild in that I am not bouncing off of the walls, but it ramped up my thinking last night to the point of having so many thoughts and ideas crashing through my head in such rapid succession that it was difficult to grasp and remember any of them. Through it all I managed to work through six "skill definitions" for the Dicebag engine I've been working on for a bit. In a lot of ways, doing that was borderline painful as I forced myself to think about what I was doing long enough to type coherent sentences.

I do believe I have worked through it all for this cycle though, and am back to a nice, mild manic that doesn't interfere with my thinking all too terribly much. Depending on what is happening tonight. I'll probably get some more work done. Once I get done with the barebone skill definitions, I'll go through and see what, if anything, needs to be added to the "main rules" to actually run an ongoing game using this engine.

From there, I'll start laying out some of the genre documents, including one I can run a campaign in, because I need to run a game again. It's part of who I am.

Husband... Father... Friend... Store Owner... Gamer... Sweater-Vested, Local Icon... =P

-- GopherDave

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