Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Gnawing At The Chains...
I know it's been five days or so since I last posted, but I really don't have much to say. The malaise has lingered on, and it is starting to affect other parts of my life to some degree.
As I stated before, this does not feel like a normal downswing, nor does it really feel like full-blown depression. It feels more... apathetically insidious. Like something is creeping into my psyche, and while it is not trying to draw attention to itself, it doesn't truly care if I notice it or not. It's setting up shop in my head and pretty much daring me to try and kick it out.
When I put it that way, it sounds like a challenge... Hmmmm...
-- GopherDave
Thursday, December 06, 2012
Lack Of... Something...
Another day... Another... day.
Went home last night after I left the store, turned on the TV and pretty much fell asleep. Once I was awake, I realized all I wanted to do was sleep some more. Something is up. I'm not sure what, but my motivation to do... ANYTHING ...has been severely lacking as of late.
I'd almost chalk it up to a bi-polar downswing, except that it feels different. Honestly, the whole vibe of apathy I've got going on feels pervasive. Like it's not something that's going to go away soon... or ever. With the bi-polar stuff, I can usually feel when a mood is going to shake loose and change. Right now... not that confident.
As it goes, I've got too much stuff going on to let this linger for much longer. I need to find some way to shake it loose.
Wish me luck...
-- GopherDave
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
Tying Things Together...
[NOTE: This post is actually written on the day it was started. Gotcha...]
I had a talk with the head honcho of Winter War, the local gaming convention. It, like it has every year for the passed few years, is happening on the same weekend as the next big MtG Pre-Release event. While there are a few details to work out and what not, it looks like we'll be doing our Pre-release events at the convention. That's the good news. The bad news is that it will be one of those Friday night/Saturday morning after Midnight events that always leave me exhausted to some level.
That does make one loose end less loose, though, and that's a good thing. As for other Winter War occurrences (read: the games I am supposed to run), practically no progress has been made on them in the last 30-45 days. I have no idea why. I know what I need to do, I just have to do it. I know the loose ends that need to either be shorn off or brought together. The target is in my sights, but I haven't pulled the proverbial trigger. Why?
Mostly, I tend not to work on game stuff unless I feel some modicum of pressure. I'm not feeling the pressure yet, even though I only have around 50 days left to complete a serious amount of work. It is mounting, though, and I am almost to the point of clearing out some space/time, tying one on, and busting out some work...
Hmmmmm... Tying one on while wearing a tie in order to tie up some loose ends...
Seems like something I would do.
-- GopherDave
Fear, Loathing, And Pity...
[NOTE: This post was started on Tuesday, December 4th. Like I said, I am way behind...]
Another business in the strip mall that Gopher is housed in got robbed this passed Sunday night. Around 8:40PM, a young man (between the ages of 14 and 20) walked into the place, pulled out a handgun, threatened the attendant and two customers, and then ran off with the money from the cash register. Sum total of what he took? Roughly $285. No one was hurt, but the robber is still on the loose.
As I was spoken to by police that night, and while I was talking with the owner of the business that got robbed, a few reactions/emotions ran through my mind...
FEAR: That could have been me on the business end of that gun. We were one of three business open during the time of the robbery, and typically there is no one here at the store at the time the incident took place other than me. That particular night, I was blessed to have about eight to ten other folks here playing games. Thing is, I know myself well enough that I would not have given anything up easily. I sort of live for confrontation, and I have had guns pointed at me on two other occasions in my life. One, I ran like hell because it was safer the than trying to close the distance with the (inebriated) shooter . The second incident, the other individual tried to pull a weapon from his waistband to threaten me, but at the time he tried to do so, I was something like three feet away. Step in, twist arm, take gun, knock him upside the head with it a few times, walk away with the gun, pull clip, empty chamber, and toss parts into a local creek on my way home.
Now, both of those incidents happened 20+ years ago, and I've lost more than a few steps in terms of
speed and reaction time. Had this happened to me the other night, I probably would have just given up the cash. I do know that some part of me would have calculated if I could have taken the assailant, though, in order to prevent loss of money and pride. Even with optimal spacing, however, it would have been shaky given my heart and weight issues, but fight-or-flight would have kicked in.
LOATHING: The general incident left me a touch disgusted. A young man threatened two ladies and a small child in committing this crime. Between that and my built-in belief of working hard and earning your paycheck, it doesn't leave me thinking very highly of the perpetrator.
PITY: Why would someone risk their freedom for a measly $285? What drives someone to do this? Hunger? Fear of living on the streets? Children to feed, but no money to feed them with? Given our current recession, the assailant could have had any number of reasons, good or bad, for doing what he did. Desperate times drive people to do things they otherwise would not in order to insure the comfort and survival of themselves and their loved ones. While there are charities and programs to help such people, many of these places are themselves are being overwhelmed by the staggering level of need currently happening within our borders. Despite the charities not wanting to do so, people are being turned away from such institutions on an increasing basis because the money isn't there.
Now, I am a simple merchant who owns a glorified toy store. I sell very little that people need, and the items I do sell are really nothing but a luxury in the grand scheme of things. I'm just sort of hoping my words on my tiny little corner of the Internet make folks think a bit about their fellow humans in this, our season of giving...
-- GopherDave
The World We Live In...
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| Mondays are supposed to be one of my days off. Does this look like a day off to you? |
[NOTE: This post was started Monday, December 3rd. I am way behind.]
Mondays are typically a slacker day for me. Usually I go into the store and place orders for product. Sometimes I run an errand or two. Today? Nope. I had enough store-related stuff to do that I figured I might as well represent the place well and put the uniform on. It was kind of a good thing that I did. I met a couple of folks who may prove to be useful contacts in the future.
My general impression in this day and age is that first impressions do not mean as much as they did even a decade ago. Between DotCom casual and the general slackerization of the country, people are being judged more on their capabilities rather than their appearance. That is, overall, a good thing. Redefining our assessments of people beyond clothing, skin color, weight (or lack there of) is an advancement of the human condition.
That being said, I'll keep doing this for a while longer. I get taken more seriously at stores for one thing. In my "slacker uniform" of t-shirt, sweatpants/jeans, backward baseball cap, and hoodie, it becomes difficult to get help because it looks like I have no money to spend. Worse yet, I have been followed around stores like I was a potential shoplifter. When wearing the GopherDave uniform, I rarely have to wait for help, and I could probably make off with half of a store's inventory with nary a thought by the staff because I look "respectable".
My point to all of this? Not certain I have one other than the times are a (slowly) changin'...
-- GopherDave
Saturday, December 01, 2012
I Need A Second Plate...
It's very late Friday night/Saturday morning as I write this... I'm tired. It may ramble.
There's a lot going on in the background of the store and in the background of my life. Enough that I feel I need at least three other hands and another brain to keep track of it all. Most of it is minor, but important stuff. Some of it is major. The one major thing it all has in common is that it is stuff that I cannot delegate off to others. I have to deal with it... ...and I shall, just not in any order that makes sense to anyone but me. Those who know me should understand this. It's just the way I'm wired.
Once I finish taking a nap/going to sleep, I have a plan to go visit a store in Decatur that my older brother owns. It's not a game store, but more of a hobby shop with remote-controlled planes, boats, and cars. I only recently found out that he had this store. While we love each other (we are brothers), we're not close, and we are usually not fond of each other's company. The two of us are a *LOT* alike. More than either of us will really admit to. We don't mix well. Still, it would have been nice to be told what he was up to. Since I've been doing this whole retail ownership gig for 4+ years now, I've learned a fair bit I could have passed on to him. However, since I am the "little brother", I am one of the last people he will ever ask for advice from. That's just how he's wired.
This all being stated, I figure I will go check out his place, talk to him for a bit, and show him some support. Given some of the things he did for me and some of what he sacrificed for me while we were growing up, it's the least I can do...
He's my brother...
-- GopherDave
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Phlegm-Bot...
So... What you all do for your Thanksgiving holiday? Me? Well, I got sick. I've spent the last seven days or so suffering from some sort of cold/sinus thing that has had me in "phlegm eviction mode" for the last three days or so...
I've been to work... sort of. Most days I either went home early or was pushed out the door by the lovely Loquacious. Today has been the first day I've had where I feel good enough to work the whole shift, possibly the whole day. I should do the latter as I am falling majorly behind on work.
During my convalescence, I did make a "WTF"-sort of discovery. Namely, that Saints of Los Angeles is a damn fine Motley Crue song. Yes... It's four years old. Why am I "now" extolling it's virtues? Ehhh... It's one of those things where I heard the song when it was new, but it was Motley Crue, so it wasn't high on my priority list to buy. Four years later, I'm in one of the local used CD haunts I have and I stumble across the album for a reasonable price. I throw it in the player, not expecting a lot (it's late-period Crue, after all), but I am pleasantly surprised. The disc is solid and the title track has been in my head for about four days.
Well, it's almost store time. I have things to catch up on. Hopefully I'll find my lungs while I am here...
-- GopherDave
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